like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
