Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
