Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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