woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
