i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
