i already hear my dad disowning me
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
