After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
