loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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