your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
