it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
