I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
