Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
