Having a random hookup so left but love u
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
