I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
