We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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