fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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