wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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