I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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