On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
