My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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