Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
