oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
