come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize