yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
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Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
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It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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