She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
