I smell stomach acid.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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