oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
