I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
