what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
