i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
