BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Boobs speak an international language.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
