like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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