is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
