She said her name was "party"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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