why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
