he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
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This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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