Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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