I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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