Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
