I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
