You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
