I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
