So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
