my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
