I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You smell like stripper and shame
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I want her autograph on my taint
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
