So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well I just put wine in my tea
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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