I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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