from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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