Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
