My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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