As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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