OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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