This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
