Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
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Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
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I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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