a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
