i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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