i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
