I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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