i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
