You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
