You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
