One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i think im in europe. pls send help
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
