Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
