I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
