Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
