at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
